Invader Zim Revamped!
by dreamer5009
Summary: I decided to make my own Invader Zim fanfic, and this is what I have so far. This will eventually be a Zagr, even though there isn't much about Gaz in there right now. I really hope you all will enjoy it! Please leave me some feedback with anything you think I could do to improve the story, or any other suggestions, thanks!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Zim blinked his large, ruby eyes against the bright lights within the debriefing room, aboard the Massive, the capital ship of his Almighty Tallest. It had only been an hour since he was interrupted from his PAK maintenance cycle, after his victory on the planet Gorn. The Tallest had personally requested to debrief him on his mission, meaning he was either in big trouble, or they had an important mission for him.

The automatic door behind him opened, and a few seconds later, Almighty Tallest Purple and Almighty Tallest Red walked into view on the other side of the table. Zims chair fell backwards as he jumped to rapt attention, eyes straight ahead, awaiting orders from his superiors. The Tallest stood there for a moment, looked at each other, and proceeded to laugh hysterically, finally gasping out, "At ease, Zim," inbetween laughing fits.

Zim picked up his chair and sat before them, confused at the informal approach that the debriefing had taken. As their laughing subsided, they returned their gaze to Zim. By far he was smallest they had seen, even by average Irken standards. However, if the accounts within the file displayed on their Pad were true, then they'd have to look upon him in a new light.

"So, Zim, tell us why you were sent to Gorn," said Almighty Tallest Purple, getting the debriefing underway.

"My Tallest! I was sent to Gorn in order to infiltrate the sentient tree-dwelling inhabitants culture in order to lay the groundwork necessary for the successful invasion of the planet. The weaklings scattered before the glory of Irken Might, that was ZIM!" he recounted, being sure to emphasize on the weakness of the native species.

"Yes, the Gornians were indeed weaklings," concurred Almighty Tallest Purple," can you elaborate on the groundwork you did to prepare for the Armada?"

Zim thought for a moment before continuing with his Mission Report, "It took a standard half-week in order to gather the necessary information to find the key weaknesses in their defense grid. I then proceeded to pulvarize their primitive systems and incite civil unrest within the population, contributing to the panic and confusion when the invasion began."

The Tallest glanced down at their Pad as the Lie detection software analyzed his words, to their surprise, it gave them the green light. They whispered back and forth to one another for a few minutes. Finally, after the matter was settled, they returned their attention to Zim. "After analyzing several other reports on the mission, including those of your immediate Tallers and eye-witness accounts of the new slave populace, we're inclined to believe that you are telling us the truth of what happened."

Zim was rather confused now, "You doubt my reports?!"

"Well, the accomplishments in the file were extremely noteworthy, and as such, we had to verify the authenticity of your mission reports alongside the Mission Logs, to ensure it was really you that made all this happen," Almighty Tallest Red explained, as if he should understand why they had to go through these steps.

Zim frowned. "You think I could not accomplish these feats of Irken Awesomeness?"

The Tallest looked at each other again, then back at Zim, "Because you are so very tiny, Zim. Even tinier than Skoodge!" Almighty Tallest Purple began, and at the crestfallen expression now coming from Zim, he continued, "But fear not! Your truthfulness has been realized and, despite your height, you've proven yourself a very capable Invader."

Zim liked the sound of that. Everybody knew that the Tallest weren't kind just for the sake of being kind. He got the feeling that there was another reason that they wanted to debrief him. "Is there something you wanted from me?"

The Tallest pulled up a file on their Pad sent to them by the Control Brains specifically for Zim. The screen was black as they handed it him, and as he looked at the screen, a green light flashed, and the Pad stated, "Identity confirmed: Invader Zim. Clearance granted."

Files opened and pictures flowed across the screen. It was mainly anomolies detected within spatial data charts over the course of the past week, at the edges of known space. Long range scans showed that a signal sweep was attempted at 21:15, followed by a wildly strong scan that reached Conventia at 21:37. "Somebody was foolish enough to scan us?!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, Zim, and we don't know who that someone is, as none of our scouts have ever gone out that far. The scan only lasted ten seconds, coming to an abrupt stop before we could try to get a lock on its signal," began Purple, and at a 'go ahead' gesture from Red, "and so we need somebody to investigate the origins of the scan. If the perpetrators of this act show themselves as a military threat or a potential source of resources, then you will receive the green light to begin preparations for a full scale invasion."

Zim nodded, feeling that his moment had finally come. However, this didn't sound like an assignment typical of an Irken Invader. "Why not just invade this pitiful planet outright?"

"Because the planet is so far away, Zim. We don't want to have to mobilize the Armada unless it's absolutely necessary," Red stated, "however, even if our military presence was requested, it would take the Armada a few years to reach the target planets sytem."

It made sense, so Zim didn't push the issue any further. He understood that, perhaps in this battle, distance would be the greatest enemy. "I understand, My Tallest, when am I to begin?"

Both of the Almighty Tallest looked at the Time Unit on the wall, then back to Zim, "Your ship is waiting for you in Hangar Bay 241B, along with an experimental SIR unit, you're set to depart in half an hour."

Zim hurriedly jumped up, snapped a crisp salute to his Tallest, and dashed out of the room, towards the elevators. The purple walls of The Massive's corridors flashed by until he skidded to a halt in front of the row of fifteen elevators. As he stepped into the first one available, he commanded, "Elevator, take me to Hangar Bay 241B."

As the elevator began to rapidly descend to the Hangar Bays, Zim paced back and forth restlessly, not able to calm down. "Finally! The mission may proceed!" he screamed as he arrived at his floor. Moving off toward the docking area, he saw his ship come into view, in all it's mission-y glory. "Do not waylay Zim! I have been given orders from the Tallest themselves! You dare defy them?" He said, shouting down the docking authorities who stood in his way.

They stepped aside as he proceeded forward, finally arriving at the entrance to his newly requisitioned ship. As he stepped onto the metal ramp leading inside, a SIR unit appeared, eyes glowing red and stating, "GIR, reporting for duty!"

Zim cocked his head to one side, "GIR? What does that 'G' stand for?"

"I don't know." came the reply from the now blue-eyed unit, and it proceeded to run through the ship screaming something about waffles.

Shaking his head, Zim made a mental note to take a look at the Artificial intelligence chip in the units headpiece. He strapped himself into his seat in the cockpit of his new Spittle Runner and performed all of his pre-flight checks. Satisfied, he fired up the fusion engines and flew out into the vastness of space, plugging in the estimated coordinates of the signals point of origin, and proceeded on his six month journey to the far away planet.

* * *

The sensor array in front of the boy beeped wildly for the first time since it was created, four years ago. Dib could scarcely believe his ears. He hurriedly jammed the headphones onto his head, ready to finally hear the proof he's been waiting for all these years.

In all twelve years of his life, Dib couldn't remember ever not pursuing all things paranormal. From Bigfoot to the Chupacabra, he's spent all of his free time searching for everything that lays outside of the worlds view of "normal." Investigating every single UFO or alien sighting that he hears of, the need for proof is as tangible for him now as it would ever be.

As the headphones slid into place over his ears, he began to hear the chatter of several alien life forms, although he couldn't make out a single word that was uttered. Even so, he flipped on the recorder to document his newfound proof so that he may analyze it later to confirm its extraterrestrial origins and attempt to glean any kind of understanding of what was said.

Satisfied that he now had indisputable proof, he turned off the Audio Signal Sweeper, and began, instead, to use the Visual Sensor Array to attempt to find the source of the alien broadcast, after all, if he could take pictures, then his argument would be even more solid. As the array re-booted to load up all the enhancement software necessary to update his digital telescope, Dib gazed into the eyepiece, searching for a distant star to identify as the source of his discovery.

The blackness of space swallowed his vision, with the billions of stars the only thing alighting the path to his ocular destination. At that precise moment, however, a massive power fluctuation surged through the telescopes systems, boosting the signal and magnification to 17,000 times the original output, granting a ten second view of the largest collection of space ships the twelve-year-old boy had ever seen.

Shocked at the sight, he stumbled backwards, losing his footing and tumbling off the roof. He grabbed out at the drainpipe that ran along the side of the building and used his momentum to swing himself through the open kitchen window, landing with a large splash into the kitchen sink. The thoroughly soaked boy climbed from the now empty sink, stating the only conclusion that he could come to, "They're coming!"

"Who's coming?" asked Gaz, his little sister, who had been in the middle of rummaging through the fridge in search of the last soda.

"I don't know..." came his ominous reply, as he stared out into the night sky.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Zim continued clutching at his antennae, as he has been doing for the past six months, since the unbearable "Doom song" first began. The painfully long journey within the small Spittle Runner was made immeasureably worse due to his sole companion, GIR, the one currently singing that horrendous song. Zim had found out the hard way just how out of wack the SIR units personality matrix really was.

As a planet loomed into sight through the viewscreen, the navigational computer stated, "Destination reached. Signal source confirmed. According to local astrogational charts, we are approaching Planet Earth."

"Gir, we've made it! Our mission to exploit these FILTHY earthenoids can finally begin!" Zim exclaimed, piloting the small craft into the planets atmosphere to narrow down the geographic source of the signal.

Gir held up one robotic finger, as he still had yet to finish his song of DOOM, "Doom, doom, doom! The end, ooh whats that?" he asked, finishing the six month aural torture that was his song.

With the abominable noise finally gone, Zim sighed, taking the Spittle Runner from cloud cover to cloud cover in order to hide the craft from the sight of the native inhabitants. Soon, however, the scanner was able to find the source of the signal. However, what vexed Zim was that the building below him was a residential building, not a research station or military base, as he had previously believed would be the case. No matter, he thought, this makes my job that much easier now!

Continuing to scan the building, he discovered two life forms, but no active signal activity. He slipped into his recon gear and began to download blueprints and bio-signs from the building to complete the scanning process. When it was finally done, the blueprints along with the bio-signs filled the viewscreen in front of him. It appeared that the life forms inside the dwelling were called humans, as was displayed after the computer synced with the planets information network.

Having no signal activity meant that the primitive "humans" must have hid their device. 'Well I'll just have to go and get it, then.' Zim thought to himself, as he set the Spittle Runner down atop the roof of the oddly shaped building.

* * *

Dib stirred in his sleep, a 'thud' emanating from above. Opening his eyes slightly, he glanced over at his alarm clock and groaned. It was 01:25, way too early to be up on any day of the week. However, a thought occured to him as he remembered the events of six months ago, "Aliens!" he concluded.

Climbing out of bed, Dib grabbed a practically unused baseball bat from the foot of his bed and stepped quietly out into the hallway. There was a brief moment, as he looked down the hall towards the stairs, when he asked himself whether or not it was smart of him to be going after this 'alien' alone, but the investigator in him persisted.

As he walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, a blur caught the corner of his vision, but when he swung his bat at the apparent threat, there was nothing there... except for a lamp, which crashed to the floor. The loud crash, apparently carried up to his little sisters room, as she shortly thereafter appeared at the top of the stairs. "What do you think you're doing, Dib?" she groggily asked, wiping sleep from here eyes.

"There's an alien in the house, Gaz! An alien!" he screamed, searching frantically for where it might have run off to.

"Whatever, weirdo. Just don't make another sound, got it?" she threatened, walking back into her room.

Making sure to be extra queit now, Dib continued his search, eventually heading back up to his room after his rather unfruitful efforts. Opening his door, his eyes darted over to his "evidence" locker, where he had placed his audio tape and photo six months prior to tonight, and thats when he saw the figure hunched over it. "Hey, get away from my stuff!" he screamed, lunging at the figure.

The figure deftly stepped aside from his sloppy lunge and slipped an arm around his neck, making it nearly impossible to breathe. He threw his elbow into the ribs of his attacker, desperate for a breath. The arm around his neck slackened, allowing Dibto escape the sleeper hold and take a large, ragged breath.

When he turned to continue the altercation, the attacker was gone, as if it had vanished into thin air. However, upon hearing a high-pitched whine emanating from the roof, Dib raced over to the window just in time to see a strange aircraft zip out of sight into the night sky. Dib wished he could've gotten a picture to add to his... "The evidence!" he screamed, reaching for the black metal box that had housed his most prized possessions.

Digging through the box frantically, Dib couldn't find the evidence anywhere, and had almost given up hope when he spotted something glinting in the moonlight out of the corner of his eyes. The audio tape lay there on the floor, approximately where he had been placed in a sleeper hold by his alien attacker just a few minutes previously. However, there was no sign of the picture.

Elated, yet disappointed at the same time, Dib thrust the tape into the box again, slipping a lock into place to deter another intrusion. "Try to steal my knowledge now, alien!" he muttered to himself as he climbed into bed, suddenly very tired. He knew he was going to be tired tomorrow, and just hoped that the little amount of sleep he could get now would help. His first day of school was tomorrow.

* * *

Zim rubbed his ribs where the pathetic earth child struck him, "Just a minor bruise, dirt-pig!" he cried to nobody in particular, as he piloted the Spittle Runner off the roof.

"I like piggies!" Gir screamed, hopping around excitedly, hoping to see one.

"Silence, Gir! We must find somewhere to set up our base." Zim screeched, circling around a few times before selecting a neighborhood not too far from the target.

Setting the craft down between two apartment buildings, Zim lowered the ramp and exited the Spittle Runner to survey the site. The planet was still very strange to him, with plants growing all over the ground, transportation mainly on the ground and who knows what else there was on this FILTHY backwards ball of dirt.

Zim pulled out his Pad and began to search the humans information systems for typical earth houses. Many images flashed across the screen, none of them looking remotely the same to any of the others. In fact, it seemed that the ideal human abode was a creation of utter chaos. Zim shook his head, wondering how a species like this could possibly pose any kind of threat to the might of the Irken Armada. He looked at the different types of housing that the humans typically dwelled within, comparing each one.

Overall, he saw little to be impressed with, as the majority of the dwellings had few defensive capabilities and the structural integrity was shameful. However, he knew that in order to establish his facade as an ordinary human, he would have to live like a human. The idea repulsed him, but it was for the greater good. He quickly researched how one would go about establishing residence in this area, and found that he would need earth currency. This part of his mission turned out to require quite a bit of research and aquisition.

Eventually, he found the type of currency he needed, made clones of the currency with his Irken printer, and determined which of the two apartment buildings he landed between would better suit his needs on this planet. Naturally, he selected the one that enabled him to have access to the roof, so that he could make a quick escape via the Spittle Runner if things went sour. He spammed the apartments computer systems until it was forced to submit to his residency request and he flew his ship onto the roof and made his way into his building.

As he entered his new abode, he looked around for a source of light to illuminate the space. However, when he flicked the switch, nothing happened. "Human scum!" He screamed, "No matter, I'll find a way. I always find a way!"

Reaching into his Pak, Zim found his Building Adaptor tool. Normally, this device allowed Irkens to completely create their own building as a base of operations on the planet they set out to conquer, however, in order to discreetly observe and infiltrate the culture, Zim believed it was more necessary to adapt an existing building to suit his needs. After all, even these pathetic humans would notice a building sprouting up out of the blue overnight, right?

Switching the settings on the device, Zim activated it, and watched as it drilled into the wall and attached itself to several wires and cords found within. Soon, the lights flickered on and several computer screens and furniture popped out into the room, filling up the previous emptiness. "Yay! Lets have a party!" Gir shouted, racing to the couch and jumping on it repeatedly.

"No parties, Gir! We're on a mission!" Zim replied, shaking his head.

As the device finished it's work, a machine appeared in the corner of Zim's bedroom, humming to life and waiting to be used. Zim calmly walked over to the strange device, as he knew it to be the holographic disguise generator. The screen before him displayed several options for his disguise, after syncing with the planets information network. It appeared as though, because of his height, he could only either pass as a human child, or as adult tiny outcast. Even here he would be seen as inferior due to his height, it seemed. In the background, he could hear Gir rummaging through the fridge.

"Master, we have to go back! We forgot my taco's!" he pleaded, practically bawling his robotic eyes out.

"No, Gir! It's not taco time! We must disguise ourselves!" Zim replied, finally settling on a disguise for himself.

"Ooh, I wanna be a mongoose." said Gir, trotting over to Zim, taco troubles behind him now.

Zim was already initiating the device and therefore couldn't reply before the machine encased him. But he nonetheless found his companions remark worthy of a facepalm. As the program initiated, his "skin" became pale beige in color, he sprouted short, messy black hair, his antennae disappeared, and his eyes became what the primitive humans called 'normal'. Finished, the machine opened, revealing Zims new form for all to see.

"Intruder detected!" Gir reported, eyes flashing red when his master's disguised form emerged from the machine.

"No, Gir! It's me, I'm right here!" Zim screamed, cringing away from the previously docile SIR unit.

Gir immediately returned to his usual, wacky self and tackled his master into a hug, "I missed you, master."

"Get off of me, Gir! It's your turn now. For you, I think a dog would do nicely." Zim replied, hoping to re-focus Gir's attention.

Gir happily trotted over to the machine, climbing inside as Zim selected a disguise for him. The machine whirred into life and enclosed the excited Gir. After a moment, it opened, revealing a tiny green and black dog, standing on it's back two legs.

Zim checked and re-checked the machine several times, as this didn't look anything like what he had chosen. Nevertheless, the infiltration was nearly complete! As was mentioned earlier, Zim realized that, because of his height, he could pass most easily as a human child. Checking the planets information network again, he discovered that these dirt-children attend a place called "skool" five days a week for twelve years! Can you imagine having to spend such a long amount of time just learning what the species considers the "basics?"

He began to feel sorry for himself when he realized that he would now have to attend this "skool" as well. Sighing, he drew up the necessary paperwork and had Computer file them with the proper government and educational offices. Tomorrow would be his first day.


End file.
